Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I CAN MOONWALK!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
