How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
