The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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