We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
