I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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