yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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