Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
