OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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