I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
