good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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