This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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