why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
