textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize