Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
