He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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