Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
