I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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