she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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