Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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