So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
