I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
