My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
