yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
