We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
