I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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