There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
