I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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