JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
