Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
