exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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