the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
