he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize