my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
