If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
