I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
