I wanna passion pit in your ass
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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