bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize