next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
