So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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