i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
