Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize