After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
