I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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