Quick, to the slutcave!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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