It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
