I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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