so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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