he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i barfeds in our rink
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
