He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
