I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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