it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
