I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
