Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize