Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
