My first STD was from a foam party
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize