Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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