he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
