i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
