I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
