shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize