This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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