This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
