DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
