It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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