I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
