There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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