I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I didn't notice because vodka
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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