I need help removing her.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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